Reducing Stress: "Dropping the ball"

I took a stroll though the "Self-Help" section of the bookstore just to take a look at what they had to offer. I grabbed a few, and sat down to skim through. I didn't end up buying anything because frankly, I don't really know what I was looking to find . As humans, especially females, we search everyday for the answers of why we're aging quickly, fighting with our significant others, or gaining weight. We spend countless dollars and energy into looking for why we're stressed and upset. As I closed the last book, I began to wonder, "I hope Monica found her phone", "I wonder if Danny looked into his application process", "I wonder if my Uncle found out how to work the internet"... then I gasped.

I have been spending countless hours struggling within because I'm onboard with other people's problems. All of the people listed above have asked me in some way, shape, or form to "catch their ball". And instead of walking away and simply stating, listen- I need ME time.. I seriously caught that ball and held onto it.

When you catch someone's ball (AKA problem), you end up putting aside what you were doing in the first place and later on, you're STRESSED because you're behind schedule. So what do we do, just leave our friends to fend for themselves? No. There are times when catching this ball is necessary - however, we are probably catching it alot more than we should. Just because we state that "I'm sorry, I really cannot afford to help you out at this moment, let me get my own stuff straightened out and I'll call you back" does not mean that you don't care for your friend.

Instead, "the key is to know when we're catching another ball so that we won't feel victimized, resentful, or overwhelmed (Carslon, 1997).

Carlson also says that:

♥ By simply answering your phone when you're really too busy to talk is a form of catching the ball. By answering, you're willingly taking part in the interaction that you may not have the time, energy, or mind-set for at the present time.

So this week - let's try to drop the ball a few times, for our own sanity's sake. Good luck!